The Relocurious Arc
Mapping the Inner Journey of Moving Across Borders
Hello. We are Kathy and Michal, your Relocurious hosts who co-authored this post. This time, we are bringing you something different — a framework that can help you make sense of your experience of past moves, get ready for the next one, or embrace the emotional rollercoaster of a relocation that you may already have embarked on.
What Prompted Our Own Move
A passion for adventure, and creating a new life for ourselves in another country had been recurring themes in our conversations pretty much since we met. Sometimes these were a part of our daydreaming and imagining, sharing positive memories that both of us have been making while travelling the world: There is so much to explore around the globe, so many kind and inspiring people to meet, tons of gorgeous places to photograph. Other times, our conversations were more prosaic, even pragmatic: Noticing the cost of living getting out of hand. More and more news stories of violent offences against commuters on transit. Routines that were no longer serving us.
The more we explored the idea of relocating and following our creative pursuits remotely (yes, Michal views his teaching as that, and it was easy for Kathy to immerse fully in photography and writing), the less a ‘change of scenery’ seemed out of reach or too wild an idea. Moving closer to Michal’s daughter Petra, and making our home in a welcoming place with thousands of years of history and art and architecture, and a very pleasant climate, became the thing we could no longer think of a reason not to do. And while our journey of becoming ‘locals’ in Portugal continues, Porto has now been our much appreciated new home for a little over two years.
The Inevitable Transactional Stuff
Once we decided on our destination, moving involved a few months’ worth of logistical steps related to immigration, banking, insurance, housing, self-employment, phone service, utilities, and driver’s licences. Some of what we considered to be the silliest (and least intuitive) tasks had to do with authenticating documents and registering with various government offices, from national to municipal to local.
But those were one-off, transactional steps, and thankfully, there are lots of websites, books and services out there to help people figure these things out. What these steps look like for anyone also seems to vary quite a bit, depending on the person’s personal context, citizenship, visa, even their chosen neighbourhood. We are glad these steps are now behind us, which has freed up our minds for pursuits we are actually drawn to.
The Self-Transformation
That is where Relocurious comes in — a passion project focused on exploring the psychological experience and self-transformation linked to moving across borders. The motives, the desires, the readiness (or lack thereof). How we respond to letting go of the familiar, navigating the new (which is often unexpectedly, even hard-to-believe different), and evolving that which matters — such as all the relationships in our lives. How we cope, how others see us cope, and how satisfying (or not) the experience of relocating gets. Perhaps most importantly, really, who we become in the process.
This project started with reflecting on our own relocation experience, and wondering how similar or different other people’s moves might be. We had been meeting people who moved for different reasons, from different places, at different stages of life. As we got to know the stories, especially the emotional side, we got the idea that there might be value in bringing those stories to other people who may be thinking about relocating — so we started a podcast. As we began interviewing people who have moved, we quickly noticed strikingly similar accounts of disorientation, clarity, doubt, renewal, and unexpected growth. These emerging themes provided a foundation for what became The Relocurious Arc, a five-stage framework intended to help us explore how our emotional and developmental experience of moving abroad evolves in time.
How We Handle Change
We have, in connection with our latest move to Porto but also when we moved earlier in life, heard some people remark,“I could never do what you did,” suggesting that it takes a certain type of person or personality to relocate. Extravert? Risk taker? Resilient? Such traits might help, but we are not convinced that the decision to move, and the resulting happiness or satisfaction can be attributed to personality only. Since people move for different reasons — to follow a dream, change a career, or escape violence or political instability — it strikes us that while some may have adapted and are thriving as they are naturally resilient, others may simply have grown into it.
That thinking prompted further exploration: We know from change theory that how we respond to something new depends (among other things) on whether the change is long awaited and we perceive it as positive, or it is sudden, perhaps disruptive, and we view it as being negative. Our openness to change and how ready we are to embrace it will affect our response when the change comes. These things may also determine what supports we need to work through the different stages of change (one change model suggests that we go through pre-contemplation, contemplation, preparation, action, and maintenance). Finally, people vary in the kinds of supports they prefer. (What would be your go-to in setting up a new gadget: an instructional video, the user manual, trying it on your own, or calling a tech-savvy teenager for support?)
The Framework
The beauty of The Relocurious Arc (as we see it) is that it is not your one-size-fits-all prescription or checklist for a move. As a developmental framework, it is meant to guide your exploration of what matters to you, how you can make sense of what lies ahead, and how you might proceed at each step (as you often will have options). It invites self-reflection, self-compassion, and progressive discovery. The steps you take as a result may be bigger or smaller, one right after another or spaced out, but the direction of travel and the path will be clearer. How you proceed remains firmly in your hands.
The Relocurious Arc can support you in two ways: First, it can help you look back at your past moves, and make sense of your experience back then. A range of factors were likely at play, and you may start seeing them more clearly, as well as how you related to them then, and how that served you. Second, the Arc can help you imagine and plan and execute your next move, navigate the early months in a new culture, and guide you to wherever you choose to go (or return) after that.
As we unveil The Relocurious Arc (yes, we are sharing it with the world for the first time), we would like to offer some of our thinking behind it, and a few examples of where and how we see some of our recent podcast guests ‘lingering’ at, or passing through one stage of the Arc or another. See if, and how, the model resonates — and consider which of the five stages speak to you most strongly. We very much welcome your comments, questions, ideas, and stories to help refine our thinking.
Stage 1: Imagining — The Spark of Possibility
Relocation begins in the imagination: a what-if, a longing, a spark. This is the stage of browsing maps, dreaming of reinvention, watching travel videos, joining podcasts, and wondering who you might become elsewhere.
Guest insight: Caleb imagined Vancouver as a launchpad for opportunity, while Deniz felt at home in Barcelona. Navigating these competing dreams challenged and strengthened their relationship, and helped them figure out their next step as a couple.
Why it matters: Imagining can inspire change — yet without grounding, it can remain fantasy. Naming this stage helps clarify both passions and intentions.
Reflective question: What are you imagining — and what does your dream reveal about you? Who are you keen on becoming by relocating?
Stage 2: Letting Go — Grief, Identity, and the Unknown
Every new beginning requires an ending. This is the quiet, often overlooked stage of release — of routines, identities, and communities that once defined us.
Guest insight: Hawwa described the bittersweet pain of leaving the Maldives — navigating guilt, gratitude, and the complex emotions of being supported to leave the very people she loved most. As she worked through this stage, she became more ready to take a leap.
Why it matters: Letting go is rarely visible, but always vital. It marks the transition from old narratives to new possibilities.
Reflective question: What are you leaving behind — and which parts of yourself are hardest to release?
Stage 3: Leaping — The Act of Commitment
The decision is made. The plane ticket is booked. The suitcases are packed. These are the threshold moments — when intention becomes action.
Guest insight: For Hawwa, the move was a “leap of faith” — an act of conviction amidst uncertainty. This step was key in creating the new life she had imagined for herself and her family.
Why it matters: This stage is often idealized, but beneath the excitement lies a quiet courage. Leaping is never just physical — it’s existential.
Reflective question: What inner shift made the leap possible for you?
Stage 4: Re-Rooting — Adapting, Struggling, and Starting Over
The arrival is real. The systems are unfamiliar. Belonging is not yet felt. Re-rooting is where you begin to build a new life, often from scratch.
Guest insight: Navigating life in a new city as a new mom, the sense of isolation hit Cressida hard. With no support system or familiar comforts, she was constantly exhausted – until she remembered how soothing being in nature and having a fitness routine had been for her before. Once she moved from the densely populated city core closer to nature, and found a gym, her life started to settle.
Why it matters: This stage is messy and under-acknowledged. Yet it is here that new identities begin to take shape through small, brave acts of adaptation.
Reflective question: What has helped you begin to feel grounded in your new reality?
Stage 5: Belonging — Finding Yourself Again
Over time, something shifts. You recognize the streets. Someone remembers your name. A sense of here-ness begins to settle in.
Guest insight: Anushka described the quiet joy of recognizing familiar trees on her walks — signs that she was no longer a stranger in her own life.
Why it matters: Belonging is not an endpoint, but a process. It is layered, personal, and often deeply ambivalent. Yet it’s also where healing and growth begin to integrate.
Reflective question: Where — and with whom — do you feel most like yourself now?
Why the Arc Matters
The Relocurious Arc is designed to serve as both a mirror and a map. It can help you get attuned to your inner experience of moving, and normalize the rollercoaster nature of relocations. Your journey is unique to you. You may find that one of the stages of the Arc is attracting your mind the most. That may be the perfect place to start exploring. Experiment in your mind — with your thoughts, feelings, ideas, uncertainties. You may leap before fully letting go. You may feel belonging and then grief. The journey can be cyclical, recursive, surprising. That’s what makes it deeply human.
For those who are about to relocate, or on the move already — or perhaps supporting someone who is — the Arc offers language, perspective, and space for deep reflection and self-compassion. We like to remind ourselves — and perhaps the Arc can help you consider as well — that relocating isn’t just about where we are going, or how, or even why. It strikes us that it’s mainly about who we are becoming.
Have you seen yourself in the Arc? What stage are you navigating right now?
We’d love to hear your story (messy ones are our favourites!), and where you are finding yourself at in your move. Join us in conversation on Substack — or email us at info@relocurious.com if you’d like to be featured in a future episode of our podcast.
brilliant arc - what a fabulous way to view and track the journey!